


Team, meet Chell!

by Anonymous



Series: Team, meet [redacted]! [1]
Category: Portal (Video Game), Team Fortress 2
Genre: Chell meeting the team, Snippets, everyone gets their own chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26178421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After a successful mission Miss Pauling encounters a silent stranger and decides to take her back to the base. There she gets to meet the team.A small snippet collection of Chell getting to know the other mercs.
Series: Team, meet [redacted]! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022110
Comments: 27
Kudos: 128
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Prologue - Miss Pauling

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love crossovers and I love TF2 and Portal. But apparently there isn’t that much crossover content? Which is kind of surprising since they’re both from Valve and kinda have the same humor…  
> Guess I have to create some content myself!
> 
> Small disclaimer I haven’t really written anything in 6 years and my first language isn’t english, so there might be some small mistakes and weirdly worded bits!

_ After Zephenia Mann accidentally rolled over a butterfly with his wheelchair in 1849, Cave Johnson successfully managed to build a certain handheld portal device a few decades earlier with the help of some advanced tech he got straight from Australia. However his company, which was meant to be located in Michigan, but somehow ended up being built at the border of New Mexico, was still doomed to fail. _

_ The year is now 1970 and Miss Pauling is about to encounter someone she never would have met in an alternate universe... _

  
  


**Prologue - Miss Pauling**

„Come on, come on!“ begged Miss Pauling, desperately trying to twist the throttle of her scooter a few more inches. But she already reached maximum speed and the scooter’s engine only made a few protesting sounds in response to her plea. 

She let out a groan and closed her eyes for a few seconds. It wasn‘t like she could hit anything. All around her were fields of wheat and no end in sight.

Her tiny scooter may be good for chasing after someone and maneuvering through tight traffic. But here, in the middle of nowhere, with a straight road all the way to the horizon? It was absolute torture! 

At this rate she‘d be arriving at her destination in one hour. Getting the job done would take her around 45 minutes and then she‘d have to hurry back to Teufort to debrief the team and after that meet up with  _ her _ .

Everything was going smoothly, until the mercs ran into some trouble on their mission. Miss Pauling was in the middle of a job just outside the Badlands, taking out some rather unfortunate eye witnesses, when she got a frantic call from Scout. He begged her to come help them and who was she to refuse? After all a successful mission was always top priority and what are the chances of someone stumbling over a few dead bodies in the middle of nowhere. So she rushed to the team, helped them out and now she was back on track to take care of her unfinished business.

Nevertheless she was running late and if there was one thing she hated more than a badly executed job, it was being late. Miss Pauling was after all a professional and a highly skilled assistant. She would never be where she is today, if she were tardy.

So, with the constant thought of running late at the back of her mind, she couldn’t really enjoy the scenery. Even though the yellow fields were a nice contrast to the dusty red desert of the Badlands.

But there was also something else, besides her sour mood, that prevented her from enjoying this quiet ride. She didn‘t frequent these parts, but she had heard stories from the people in the nearby towns. There used to be a huge research facility nearby, but it shut down a couple of years ago. Still, the people avoided it‘s territory as much as possible, obviously fearing something. The endless fields were starting to creep her out.

Maybe that‘s why she was so surprised to suddenly see a small figure against the horizon. Adjusting her glasses she tried to make out some details of the far away silhouette. She was pretty sure it was a woman, who was walking on the street before her. The Assistant couldn‘t really make out her clothes, but she was holding something in her right hand. At first she thought it was a gun, but she quickly dismissed that thought. She was familiar with a lot of different types of firearms and she had never seen a shape like this. Maybe she was getting paranoid.

As Miss Pauling was getting closer she unconsciously started to slow down. Her anger of being late was swallowed by a newfound curiosity for this mysterious woman walking alone in the middle of nowhere.

When she was a few meters behind her, the strangers head turned, obviously being alerted by the sound of the scooter’s engine.

She didn‘t say anything and just locked eyes with the passing Miss Pauling. Miss Pauling didn‘t know what she was expecting, but it was certainly not this cold empty look. A face without emotions, just observing her. Cool grey eyes stared out of a pal, sunken face. Other people might have been freaked out by her, but Miss Pauling wasn‘t like other people. It was her job to work with the mercenaries, kill people and get rid of evidence. She knew that look. The look of someone who had been to hell and just came back.

The eye contact only lasted a few seconds, until her scooter had taken her past the stranger. Miss Pauling shook her head, trying to focus. „No, get it together Pauling-“, but the thought had already materialised in her head and it was slowly taking over her fear of running late.

She let out a frustrated groan, because she knew it was already too late and the thought would stick in her mind until she acted on it. She stepped on the break and turned around.

„Do you need a ride?“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the prologue!  
> I actually wrote this after drawing a picture of Miss Pauling and Chell, riding together on her scooter, for a friend of mine. After that I just got so many more ideas and decided to write them down. This was the first bit and will be the only part that is written from Miss Pauling's POV, the other parts will be written from Chell’s!


	2. Chell

It felt like she had completely lost track of time. She didn‘t know how long she had been walking down the road through the yellow fields. Had it already been days, or were it merely a couple of hours? If it had been over a day the sun should have set at least once, but her mind was in such a haze that she couldn‘t really be sure.

It was the same when she thought about the testing track she went through at the facility. Sometimes it felt like she did nothing but solve puzzles for weeks, other times she was certain she succeeded in a couple of hours.

The headache, that she had since she woke up amidst the rubble of the former Aperture Laboratories building, didn‘t help either. She was starting to get tired. Additionally the bullet wound in her right leg was sending out a dull pain every other step. Her strength was leaving her and she couldn‘t keep this up for much longer.

Maybe that‘s why she didn‘t even hesitate when the woman on the scooter had offered her a ride. She got out of that damn facility, she wouldn‘t end up dying on a lonely road.

„So … where are you headed?“

She wasn‘t sure, „Just … away.“

„You got a name?“, the fields around them had started to thin out, making room for dry ground, „Don‘t get me wrong, mysterious stranger has a nice ring to it, but I like to know who I‘m dealing with.“ She was sitting at the back of the scooter, awkwardly holding onto the railing behind her. Being that close to another human felt weird. Like so many other things she couldn‘t remember the last time she had touched or even just talked to someone else. The whole scenario felt like a dream and she was afraid that she would wake up any second now.

„Chell. Just Chell.“, she wanted to sound confident, but due to not having talked in so long her voice sounded rough and small.

„Nice to meet you Chell! I‘m Pauling, just Pauling.“, the other woman stopped for a second, „Well actually my friends call me Miss Pauling. Okay, we’re not really friends, more like colleagues. It’s complicated. Let’s just get back to Pauling.“ 

And with that they fell back into silence. 

After some time they arrived at a large rock. It was surrounded by nothing but desert for miles.

Pauling got off the scooter, she seemed a bit tense, „I just need to complete some unfinished business behind that rock.“ She opened up the compartment of the scooter and pulled out a water bottle, which she gave to Chell. „It would be great if you could just stay on this side of the rock, because if you took a look at the other side, we‘d have a problem.“, she trailed off, „Just … Just stay here and we‘ll be back on the road in like 30 minutes!“ Her behaviour was a little strange, but Chell shrugged it off and gave her a nod. Who was she to judge her? A starved, young woman walking around the country after she had just destroyed a whole research facility and murdered a crazy AI. She had her secrets and she let Pauling have hers.

Besides, she still needed to get to a town and she had no clue where she was nor did she know how to ride that scooter. So, she just sat in the shadow of the rock, drank some water and waited for the other to finish her business. 

Pauling reappeared after a couple of minutes with a shovel in hand and soaked in sweat. There was still some water left in the bottle, so Chell handed it over to Pauling who gratefully took it and emptied it on the spot. Then they got back on the scooter and continued their journey.

„Look, remember my colleague-friends I told you about?“, Pauling looked over her shoulder, „If you want to stay low profile for a bit and need some time to figure things out I could drop you off with them.

I‘m headed to their base anyways, or I could always drop you off at downtown Teufort?“

Truth be told she didn‘t know what she wanted to do. Her goal had been to get out and then get as far away as possible. She had gotten out and now thanks to Pauling she had also gotten pretty far away.

What next?

Should she simply continue on her own, or take Pauling‘s offer? Right now she didn‘t have anything, no food, money or any other supplies. From a logical standpoint the answer was clear. 

The sun was starting to set when the pair arrived at a canyon. Pauling reduced the speed and they sneaked behind a rather large curtain with a fake canyon painted on top of it. Behind the curtain was the base, an array of multiple buildings scattered around the valley. The light was still on in a lot of different rooms. In front of the biggest building stood an old, rundown van, with a man sitting next to it. When he noticed the scooter he excitedly got up and started to wave, „Heya Miss Pauling!“ She stopped the scooter in front of him and Chell finally got a good look at the man. He couldn‘t have been that much older than her and wore a red top with rolled up sleeves, as well as a grey cap. As he caught sight of Chell his expression switched from excitement to confusion.

„Who‘s that?“ was countered by „Scout, were you just waiting out here?“ Scout, apparently, just shrugged, „I was waiting for the debriefing and wondering when you‘d show up.“ Pauling shook her head, but she didn‘t seem to be too annoyed by him. „Then come on and let's get this over with.“, she made her way over to the door, „And I can introduce you to everyone!“ The last bit was said directly to Chell and Scout sent her another questioning glance. 

After they went inside, Scout just started chatting, while Pauling replied with random nods and ‚mhhs‘. They mentioned some mission and Scout was boasting about how amazing he had been today. Chell didn‘t really pay attention, her mind was occupied by other things. Most importantly the fact that this was her first time back inside a building… She only started focussing again when she noticed that the others had stopped in front of a door.

Pauling was smiling at her, „They might be a bit intimidating at first. But don‘t worry they‘re actually pretty nice.“ Scout snorted at that and Pauling sent him a dark look.

She pushed open the door and they all stepped inside.

„Hello everyone. Meet Chell.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes the first “real chapter”. From now on there will be lots of time skips and Chell will have her own moment with everyone from the team!


	3. Engineer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: I’m not going to attempt to write any accents. It’s a miracle I managed to create such a long text in english, I will not ruin it with horrible depictions of written dialects…  
> On the bright side there will be some proper german in the next chapter! :)

"She really is a beauty.", the Engineer was holding her Portal Gun, turning it so he could look at it from every side. Ever since she had arrived at the base the man had been eager to get his hands on the new piece of tech. When he had heard her call it Portal Gun he had become even more curious and urged her to come visit his workshop as soon as possible. Once there, he had proudly presented his own teleportation technology and let her use the teleporter to try it out herself.

Being teleported was a strange sensation. She had never felt anything when she was stepping through a portal. It was simply another step forward, albeit through a crack of space and time.

Teleportation on the other hand made her skin tingle and her head spin, but only for a few seconds. The engineer had laughed and assured her that one would get used to it over time.

"So, how does she work?", he handed the gun over to Chell and she welcomed the familiar weight back into her arms.

"You just shoot at a wall and a portal appears.", she turned the device on and the gun‘s tube started glowing blue, „Then you shoot at another spot for a second one.“. She activated the small trigger next to the handle and the gun switched from orange to blue. In a weird way she had missed the soothing hum of the device. It was almost like a melody.

„Care for a little presentation?“, the Engineer took a step back and beckoned her to take a shot at the nearby wall. She hesitated, because she knew it wouldn‘t work. Still, a small glimmer of hope remained inside of her and she pulled the trigger. The familiar sound of a portal being fired filled the air. The orange energy hit the wall and … Nothing. The bundle of energy diffused on impact with a dispersing sound.

The excitement on the Engineer‘s face turned into confusion and Chell let out a sigh, „It doesn‘t work up here.“ She turned it back off and placed it on the table. 

Chell had desperately tried to create another portal once she woke up in the rubble of the facility, but nothing worked. Neither the asphalt of the road, nor the concrete of the walls. From experience she knew that only the white tiled panels were suitable portal surfaces. But she had no idea what had made these panels special, nor the scientific knowledge to make up any working theories. All she knew was that the gun was basically useless outside of Aperture. She could have just left it there in the rubble, but after it had successfully helped her through the testing track and saved her from being incinerated alive, she had become quite attached to the device and just couldn‘t leave it behind.

„They had special tiles … down there.“, Chell still avoided talking directly about the facility with other people, „The portals only work on them, nowhere else.“. 

„Now that could be a bit of a problem.“, the Engineer stepped closer and looked down at the gun, „Well, good thing I‘m an Engineer. ’cause solving problems is my speciality!“.

At this point he could have easily thrown her out of his workshop, so that he could start tinkering in peace. Instead he had simply said that it was nice to have some company from time to time and let her stay. „I love the other fellas, but sometimes some of them can be quite-“, he made some talking motions with his hands, earning him a small chuckle from Chell. She hadn‘t been at the base for that long, but she could already tell who he was talking about.

After she had described what the gun was meant to do some more, the Engineer had started to carefully take the device apart. He had attentively listened to her illustrate the different ways she had used the gun to build momentum and solve tests. In return he had given her the proper names for certain mechanics and took the time to explain the physics behind the described phenomenons. The Engineer had stopped his work more than once to walk over to a board on the wall and draw out a visual schematic, so that Chell could follow him more easily.

Chell didn‘t like to talk that much, but now she couldn‘t seem to stop asking questions. Even though she despised the facility, the tests had always intrigued her. She enjoyed solving the puzzles and loved the rush of excitement whenever she had successfully completed another challenge. Talking about it now it felt like a completely different place, completely detached from  _ her _ facility.

„Alright, that should do the trick.“, the Engineer had finally gotten the white casing off and was currently trying to open up the black housing below. With a ‚click‘ he managed to lift one of the plates and peered inside. When he finally recognized what he was looking at his face lost all its colour and he immediately put the part back into place, closing the casing. Chell looked at him with a worried expression, „What‘s wrong?”

He needed a few seconds to get over the shock, but then he slowly said, „There‘s a miniature black hole inside your gun.“

„What?“

„Someone put a miniature black hole … inside a gun.“, his voice was back to its normal volume now, „That‘s …“

„Bad?“, his goggles prevented her from seeing his full facial expression and she wasn‘t sure if he was excited or disturbed.

But then he exclaimed, „Genius!“ and Chell felt herself relax. „I didn‘t know this was even possible! Never thought about the possibility of using one.“, the concern on his face was replaced by a huge grin, „I could try combining it with the teleporter technology. I need to think about it some more, but I should be able to stabilize the singularity upon impact!“

„So, you can fix my gun?“

The engineer stopped his rambling and looked at her, „I told you I‘m an engineer, my job is to fix things! And I‘ll be damned if I don‘t manage to fix your gun!“.

Back at the facility  _ she _ had always made promises  _ she _ wouldn‘t keep.  _ She _ had promised her cake, a non lethal end at the testing track and in the end  _ she  _ had always broken her promises. That‘s why Chell had started to grow weary of them.

But this promise felt different and a small part of her started to hope again.


	4. Medic

„I don‘t like tests.“, mumbled Chell as she reluctantly followed the Engineer down the hallway. „It‘s not a test.“, assured the Engineer, „It‘s a medical examination.“

While spending time in his workshop together he had noticed that Chell kept flinching at every loud noise and that she kept touching her temples way too often. After she admitted that she had a constant headache and considering that she also had a problem with memory loss, he had decided that it was time to finally visit their doctor.

Chell on the other hand had deliberately tried to avoid the Medic. She knew that her head shouldn‘t hurt this much and that someone should make sure the bullet wound in her tight was going to be alright, but she just didn't trust doctors. 

It was true that she had a hard time remembering anything before the testing track, however some vague memories were still there. Including one of several people in white lab coats surrounding her… 

So, if it were up to her, she would just live with the pain and never step foot inside a lab ever again. However, the Engineer seemed determined to make sure she was alright and didn‘t suffer from any tumors that would kill her in the next three days.

„I‘m sure it won‘t even take that long!“, they reached the lab door and the Engineer pushed it open, revealing a rather messy ward. 

„Archimedes, jetzt hör aber mal auf damit!“, the Medic was chasing after one of his white doves, who appeared to be carrying some type of organ. When he saw them come in he only screamed, „Close the door!“. The dove had already spotted its new chance of escape and flew right into the direction of the newcomers. The Engineer was frozen in place, but Chell managed to dive back and close the doors in the last second. Unfortunately the dove wasn‘t as quick as her. It hit the door with a small squeaking sound and fell to the ground. „Archimedes!“, the Medic rushed over to the fallen bird and carefully picked it up with his gloved hands. „Komm schon …“, he started pumping its heart with the help of both of his thumbs until the small bird started to move again. „Aha, da bist du ja wieder!“, after it had drowsily looked around the room for a few seconds it let out a small coo and fluttered away. 

Medic seemed rather pleased until he noticed the now mashed remains of the dropped organ on the floor. „That was my last baboon liver.“, he scooped it up and threw it in the next trash can, „Seriously, you don‘t pay attention for one second and your birds steal all of your organs!“ Next to Chell the Engineer muttered „Rats of the sky.“, but it was so low that the doctor didn‘t hear him. Chell couldn‘t help herself and let out a small laugh, which caught the attention of the Medic.

„I was starting to wonder when you would finally show up!“, understandable, as she had arrived at the base looking like a complete mess. A way too thin face, enormous bags below her eyes and most noticeably with a large stain of blood on her pant leg. The medic had already offered to look at it back then, but she had made up a weak excuse and successfully managed to avoid him until now. 

Medic removed multiple instruments from the surface of the examination table and gently patted it, beckoning her to sit down. Chell looked back to the Engineer with pleading eyes, but he only crossed his arms and shook his head. She sat down on the table with a small groan.

„So!“, the Medic enthusiastically clapped both of his hands together, „Let me see the problem!“ Chell carefully pulled the pant leg over her right knee. Luckily the pants were rather wide and it didn‘t hurt too much. She had gotten them from Scout, according to him he had grown out of the pair, because he had allegedly gained a lot of muscle. (But she was pretty sure that he was lying and he had given her a pair of his normal stock.)

Meanwhile the Medic was observing the bullet wound in her thigh, pushing up his glasses with his index finger, „I had expected something worse. This already looks like it healed for a few weeks.“ Chell frowned at that. It had happened some test chambers into the testing track, but she was pretty sure that she had encountered the turret not that long ago. However she didn‘t say anything, she just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

„I could still clean it up and give you an actual bandage?“ She risked another quick glance back at the Engineer, but he was still there. So she begrudgingly agreed and the Medic got to work.

Once he was done he asked, „Anything else?“ She shook her head, while the Engineer simultaneously said „Well, actually-“ Chell couldn‘t believe it. She had started to trust the Engineer, only to be betrayed once again! Seeing as she simply couldn‘t get out of the lab now, she gave the Medic her other symptoms and let him take her blood. She may have nearly punched him in the face, but she swore that it was an accidental instinctive reaction to being poked with a needle.

After that she had to sit in a machine that would scan her brain. Throughout the whole procedure she had grabbed onto the arm rests, knuckles turning white. Once the apparatus was done they had to wait for it to print out the results. It was then that the Engineer caught sight of the time.

„Shoot, I gotta go. You!“ , he pointed at Medic, „Don't do anything crazy and, or unethical.“ „Those are some highly subjective guidelines-" „And you!“, the Engineer then pointed at Chell, „Let the Doc do this examination and don't try to murder him.“ Medic wanted to say something else, but the Engineer stopped him. „Murder followed by instant reanimation is both crazy and unethical“! and with that he was out of the door, leaving Medic and Chell alone in the lab.

A small 'ding' broke the silence, „Oh! The brain scans are ready!“ The Medic hurried over to the machine, grabbed two printed scans and attached them to one of the fluoroscopic screens on the wall. Chell remained seated on the examination table, while Medic analyzed the scans.

„Well, good news first. That headache is not going to kill you!“, he turned around and pointed at a spot on the scan, „Bad news, this looks like you suffered some form of minor brain damage.“

Chell needed a second to take in the news, the Medic on the other hand didn’t skip a beat and continued, „I'm no professional brain surgeon, but I could try to-" 

„No.", she wouldn't let that crazy scientist cut open her brain.

Medic let out a huff and crossed his arms „You don't really trust me, do you?“

„I don't trust doctors.“, was her dry reply. They had a silent starring match for a couple of seconds until the Medic turned away and gave her a shrug, „Fair point.“ 

That was not the reply that Chell had been expecting.

„To be honest I wouldn't trust myself either.“, he paused and looked like he was thinking, "Engineer was right, I've done some rather crazy and unethical procedures." He started to laugh, as if he had just remembered a good one, "Oh yes, I definitely wouldn't trust myself." 

He walked over to another cabinet and Chell was seriously considering if she should just bolt right here and now, but the Medic was already back with some pill bottles in hand. 

„For you.“, Chell made no motion to grab the pills. Medic seemed to get a bit annoyed at that, „Well, technically you won‘t die from a little brain damage. I can‘t force you to do that surgery, but if I don't do anything against these symptoms I won‘t hear the end of it from both Miss Pauling and Engineer.“ He made a small pause and waited for her reply, when he got none he continued, „Fine if you don‘t want those pills that would help with the headache and the memory problems I will just put them away aga-“ He had started to move back to the cabinet, but Chell stopped him at the mention of painkillers. The headaches were starting to get annoying. 

She took both bottles and he gave her a triumphant grin in return. „Just take the blue ones once a day and the red ones with every meal!“

This was her cue to get up and finally leave this place. „Oh and if you change your mind about that surgery, my lab is always open!“

She still didn‘t trust doctors, especially the Medic. But she had to admit, at least he was straightforward and direct. Unlike a certain disingenuous AI.

It’s the small things that count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wanted to include way more ‚fake‘ medical headcanons in this, but the chapter was starting to get way too long….
> 
> „Archimedes, jetzt hör aber mal auf damit!“ Archimedes, stop it! (But kinda in an annoyed old people way.)  
> „Komm schon …“ Come on …  
> „Aha, da bist du ja wieder!“ Ah, there you are (again).


	5. Pyro

After being nearly incinerated, Chell tried to avoid fire as much as possible. That‘s why she always felt a little uneasy whenever she was close to the Pyro. They were always carrying around a small lighter, igniting it‘s flame every now and then.

It made her a bit uncomfortable.

Unfortunately for her, at the moment it was only the two of them standing in front of a burning oven. She was walking along the nearby corridor, when she had picked up a burned smell and heard some panicked noises coming from the kitchen. She rushed over to the other room, even though her mind was telling her to get away from the fire as quick as possible. Being burned alive was bad, but just letting someone be incinerated again was worse. 

That is how she found herself in the current predicament. Pyro was running around the small kitchen island, shouting something she couldn‘t understand. When they spotted her they stopped and grabbed her by the arm. Chell was dragged to the other side of the room, where she could finally see the cause of the burned smell. The oven was on fire, or at least something was burning inside of the oven. The oven door was still closed, but smoke was steadily creeping out of it‘s cracks.

Pyro was saying something again, but the gas mask muffled all the words. They beckoned her to stay here and watch the oven. Chell wanted to protest, but before she could utter a word Pyro had already rushed out of the room.

For a few seconds she just stood there, trying to process what just happened. However when she started to feel the heat radiating off of the fire her thoughts began to clear. She hurried over to the sink and made sure that the tap was still working. After that she frantically rummaged through the closets looking for a container. Chell luckily found a bucket in a compartment below the sink. The bucket was left under the running tap, while Chell quickly wrapped a tea towel around her right hand and carefully tried to open the oven door. She succeeded, but was immediately hit with a billowing cloud of smoke. The burning smell was now everywhere and it was getting hard to breathe.

In that moment Pyro ran back into the kitchen and Chell couldn‘t believe her eyes. They had come back with their flamethrower! Were they trying to burn the whole base to the ground?!

Before she could stop Pyro, they were already standing in front of the open oven aiming the flamethrower straight inside. Out of instinct Chell raised one of her arms, holding it protectively over her face. She waited for the heat of the blast to hit her, but to her surprise it never came. Instead she felt a sudden gust of air and the constant warmth of the flame instantly vanished. 

When she lowered her arm Pyro was standing triumphantly before her, letting out a noise that could have been a victorious ‚Tadaa!‘. But their apparent victory was short lived. An agonizing shout tore through the air as they carefully pulled an object, that at this point could only be described as the remnants of something formerly edible, out of the oven.

Chell slowly moved closer to get a better look at the … thing. It was a completely burned black mass sitting in a round metal baking pan.

„A cake?“, Pyro gave her a sad nodd. Now that the imminent danger was gone she finally had the time to take a closer look at the kitchen counter. It was filled to the brink with different pans, all filled with frosting. She could spot at least six colours and multiple bottles of various glitters and other decorations.

Pyro set down the burned cake and turned to her. This time she could nearly make out the muphled words, but to make sure she understood them right she asked, „For me?“ Pyro nodded again and sat down next to the oven, dramatically burying their head in their hands.

„Oh …“, she didn‘t really know what else to say. Back in the facility  _ she _ had always talked about cake, the one Chell would get once she successfully finished all of the tests. But that turned out to be a lie and all that awaited her at the end of the testing track were burning flames. It was a bit childish of her, but she had actually really looked forward to that cake. It had kept her motivated and in a weird way gave her something to fight for.

Now she was here at a base in the middle nowhere, miles away from that dreaded research facility and someone had finally offered her a cake. A cake that was completely burned, as if someone had accidentally dropped it into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. It was rather ironic, although in a weird way also comforting. She had finally made it, passed all the tests, escaped the facility and finally got her cake. It wasn‘t the cake she had expected, but it was definitely not an unwelcome gesture.

Chell went over to the tap, where the bucket was already filled to the brim with water. She took it, as well as a small cloth and a bottle of cleaning agent and set it down in front of the oven. Pyro looked up at her and turned their head a bit to the side, as if they were asking a question.

„I‘ll clean the oven and you make a new batch of dough.“, it felt like Pyro was just blinking at her a couple of times behind the mask, until they made another excited sound and got back up. Soon she will finally eat her well deserved cake and she’d make sure that this time nothing would end up being incinerated in the process.


	6. Soldier

„You may have fooled Miss Pauling and the rest of the team, but you‘re not fooling me!“, Chell was sitting at the table in the living area, while the Soldier was standing across from her. 

„Don‘t worry, lass! He‘s always like that.“, Demo was sitting next to her, bottle of liquor in hand. She wasn‘t sure if he had joined them, because he had pitied her, or if he just wanted to enjoy the show. 

The whole situation was simply ridiculous. Ever since she had arrived at the base the Soldier had critically watched her, observing her from underneath his way too large helmet. Chell hadn‘t understood what was wrong, until she realized that he was under the impression that she might be an enemy trying to infiltrate their team. This morning he had managed to find her alone in the living area and he had simply started an impromptu interrogation. Demo had joined them a couple of minutes ago and tried his best not to laugh.

„Silence!“, shouted Soldier, „This is some serious business! For all we know she could be working for the enemy team!“ 

Demo looked like he wanted to say something again, but changed his mind last second and took another sip out of his bottle.

„Let‘s just start this again!“, Soldier straightened up and crossed his arms behind his back, „Name!“ 

She glanced over to Demo, who smiled at her and motioned to just roll with it. So, she let out a sigh and said, „Chell.“ 

„Chell, who?“ 

„Just Chell.“

„It can‘t be just Chell! What kind of name is Chell? Short for Michelle? And what about a surname?“, he was yelling at a rapid fire speed. Talking to him felt a bit like talking to Scout and she could already feel a headache forming at the back of her head.

„I already told you. I don‘t remember anything besides that one name.“

„But everyone has one! Just look at me: Jane Doe! A great American name!“, the Soldier was now posing proudly in front of the table, while Demo let out a snort.

That statement made Chell think. She didn‘t even know if she was American. Sure, she had no trouble understanding English and used it fluently, unlike Heavy and Medic who struggled a little from time to time. But Sniper and Demo spoke English as their first language and they weren‘t American. It wasn‘t like the States were the only country in the world that used the language. For all she knew, she could be from the lost bloody land of New Zealand.

When Chell didn't reply, still lost in thought, Soldier continued his angry rant, "Memory loss is a pathetic excuse! A pathetic excuse for a pathetic spy! But you're not fooling me!"

He let out an annoyed huff and straightened his jacket. „You arrive here in that colourful outfit, barefoot, in a complete haze and no apparent memory of the last years-“, Soldier stopped, expression switching from determination to sudden horrified realization, „Dear God… You are a Hippie!“

Demo nearly spit out his drink, barely holding in his laughter. Meanwhile Soldier looked like he was having an existential crisis, "This is much worse. How could I have missed the signs! Another young soul lost to mushroom eating, peace loving scum."

Chell was simply watching the scene in front of her unfold with an amused expression. "We have all failed this country! How can we call ourselves proud citizens, when we simply stand by while more and more innocent children are being corrupted every day!" Was … was that a tear rolling down the Soldier’s face?

Demo had put his bottle down and made his way over to Soldier, gently patting his back, "Don't worry Solly, I'm pretty sure she's not a hippie." "She's not?", he was hopefully looking up towards Demo and then turned to Chell. "You're not?", he asked again.

She was almost feeling a little bit sorry for him, "I'm not."

"Thank God. But then why were you barefoot?"

She shrugged, "I was wearing my Advanced Knee Replacements."

"Your what?"

And that's how she ended up on the roof of the base, ready for a small presentation. Soldier stood on the ground below her and shouted, „This is a trust fall! If you survive this we can be certain that you‘re not a spy!“

They had lost Demo on the way out, but now Soldier was accompanied by Scout, who had seen the other walk outside and followed out of curiosity, „Dude, that‘s not how trust falls work.“

Scout looked up at Chell, who was standing on the roof of the third floor, „Should I call Medic?“

Meanwhile Chell simply took in the view. Up here she could see the desert for miles and miles. No white panels confining her, only the desert and the sky. She could have just stood there for hours,taking it all in, but the peaceful scenery was disturbed by the angry shouting from below.

„That‘s crazy! Even for you!“

„Who are you calling crazy, son!“

„I‘m just saying that this jump will certainly kill her! Why do you eve-“

She decided it was time to end this dispute and simply called out, „Heads up!“, and stepped off the edge.

Chell was only falling for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Jumping had always been one of the most exciting parts of the tests. The rush of ecstasy, the wind in her hair and then the abrupt cushioned impact, robbing her of all the momentum.

She had easily landed right next to Scout and Soldier, surprising the pair by her sudden appearance. Scout‘s face was completely white, and he just stared at her with a shocked expression,“You‘re not dead.“ Soldier didn‘t seem to be fazed at all and excitedly pointed at her feet, „No damage! How did you do that?!“

He bent down and took a closer look at the knee replacements, „I can‘t believe it. I definitely need a pair of these fancy knees.“

Chell answered with a simple, „I told you they would work!“

Soldier got back up and excitedly clapped her on the back, „Congratulations! You have officially passed the official trust fall! You can be trusted!“

Judging from Scouts sceptical expression there was definitely no such thing as an official trust fall.

Nonetheless, it was nice to trust and be trusted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually one of my favourite chapters! It was just really fun to write.  
> Also concerning the New Zealand comment… No one knows where Chell is from and one evening I discussed the similarities of Chell and Sniper with a friend of mine and we jokingly said, well what if she is also from New Zealand???


	7. Sniper

It was a warm, sunny day in Teufort. Not a cloud in the sky and no killer robots attacking their base in sight. In short, it was incredibly boring.

The last attack had happened nearly two weeks ago and everyone was starting to feel a little antsy. Pauling had showed up and left Chell at the base, but that could already be labeled as old news at this point.

With nothing better to do Sniper had offered Chell to teach her how to fire a rifle. Seeing as she had never wielded a real firearm before and since she was always eager to learn something new, she had gladly agreed. So, that day after lunch they went outside and Sniper set up a weathered camping table and placed down some old loafs of bread on top of it.

Each bread was covered with multiple green spots, but before she could say anything Sniper had already sighed. „Don‘t ask.“, and they left it at that.

Chell liked talking to Sniper, or rather she liked the fact that they talked so little. Most of the other members of the team had rather loud personalities and tended to talk way too much. It wasn‘t that she didn‘t enjoy the company, sometimes it was just a little too over stimulating for her. And unlike the others, Sniper always talked in a low and slow voice and never interrupted someone else mid-conversation. Maybe that is why he had offered her the teaching session, as it was a good excuse to leave the others for a few hours.

„Remember, a good stance is important. You need to be comfortable and have a steady position.“, Sniper pulled the rifle up and started to aim, „Or you‘re never going to hit anything.“ They were standing roughly 50 meters away from the bread.

„Now, just steady your breathing. Switch off the safety. And-“, something hit the camping table, but it was definitely not a bullet. 

„Scout! You bloody wanker!“ and „Ha! Got it!“, could be heard from the opposing sides of the field. Scout got up from the now crashed camping table and victoriously held up a baseball in his gloved hand. Meanwhile Sniper let out some more curses and put down his rifle. 

„I nearly fucking shot you!“, that got Scout's attention and he looked over to the practicing pair. „Oh hi Sniper, didn‘t see ya there!“, now Pyro poked their head around the corner and started waving with a neon sign. When Pyro saw Chell they shouted a mumbled greeting and started waving even harder. Chell gave a tentative wave back and Pyro disappeared behind the corner again. Meanwhile Scout had already put the table back up and tossed the bread on the table top. „Sorry ‘bout that, you can continue your date now!“ and with that he ran around the same corner as Pyro.

„That‘s not … ugh-“, and Sniper muttered some more insults aimed at the already gone Scout. Chell was a bit dumbfounded. She had never even heard half of the words coming out of the Australian‘s mouth before.

While she was still thinking about what just happened, Sniper had already pulled his rifle back up and took aim. He wanted to continue where he left off, but stopped when he caught the look on Chell‘s face, „What?“

„You curse … a lot.“

„Yeah, it‘s a bad habit.“ and with a swift motion he hoisted his rifle, took aim, fired and sent the bread flying off of the table, „But let‘s get back to business.“

Sniping was way harder than she had anticipated. It was a lot of holding still and waiting, which stood in stark contrast to what she had learned at the facility. She was used to always being on the move and making split second decisions. 

They‘ve been at it for over half an hour and Chell was starting to get impatient. The loafs of bread were still all lined up on the table, as she only ever managed to graze them. After each missing shot she pressed her lips harder together, draining them of more and more colour. Her body would randomly twitch, causing the bullet to soar past its intended mark. Sniper was standing besides Chell, eyes observing her every move from behind his yellow tinted glasses.

She just missed another shot and her hands angrily tightened their grip around the firearm. Before she could reload the gun, Sniper took hold of the shaft, „Woah sheilah, stop for a second!“ She reluctantly let go of the rifle.

„You‘re getting way too worked up and you‘re not letting any of that steam out.“, he took the rifle with both hands, weighting it with his arms. Chell let out a shaky breath, she knew she had trouble focusing on slower tasks. It had become more apparent the longer she had stayed at the base. She often wondered if it was all due to her time at the facility.

„You need to keep your head clear, or you‘ll never hit your target.“, Sniper lightly brought the brim of his head up with the shaft‘s end for emphasis, „But I‘ll let you in on a secret.“ That got Chell‘s attention.

„Wanna know how I deal with anger?“, she nodded in response.

„The best way to get a clear head?“, another eager nod.

„The solution to all my anger issues?“, he was making wide gestures and Chell was suspecting he was doing this to get under her short tempered skin on purpose.

But then, with the biggest grin on his face, he finally said, „I curse!“

At first Chell thought he was joking, but from the, albeit a bit amused, look on his face it became apparent that this was his actual answer.

„When that bloody idiot Scout ran into the table I was furious. But I have to stay focussed, I can‘t let that anger affect my aim! So I insult him a few times, get all of these boiled up emotions out and continue with a clear head.“

„So you‘re saying, if I curse more, my aim gets better?“

„Not exactly, but us quiet folks just have to let it out from time to time.“, he tossed the rifle back to her and beckoned her to take another shot.

Slowly she got back into position. Even though she didn’t really believe in the advice, at least their conversation had taken her mind off from the other failed attempts. She took a deep breath, took aim and- A baseball flew over the field, catching her completely off guard.

„Goddamnit Scout! We‘re practicing here!“, the words left her mouth before she could even think about them. That had never happened before.

Next to her Sniper started cackling hysterically, while Scout shouted back, „Hey, I just threw the ball! Pyro hit it!“. Chell just stood there dumbfounded, tricked by her own subconsciousness.

Calling out was a weird feeling. Back in the facility she had always kept quiet. She was too stubborn to utter a word of annoyance or groan in frustration. She didn‘t want to satisfy  _ her _ and let  _ her  _ know how much the tests were wearing on her. But this was different. She didn‘t feel any regret, quite the opposite. This was the first time in ages that she had actually let out a bad emotion instead of just showing it back in.

„That‘s what I‘m talking about!“, Sniper wiped away a tear and encouragingly placed a hand on her shoulder, „Now try another shot.“

Stance. Aim. Fire. 

One of the green breads was sent flying.

Sniper looked rather pleased as he watched the remnants of the loaf rain down onto the field. As he turned back to Chell he asked, „Feeling better?“

And she smiled, like she hadn‘t in a long time, „Yeah.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always curse quite a lot whenever I play as Sniper...


	8. Demo

Today was a bad day. Technically nothing "bad" had happened, but ever since she got out of the facility her head had become clearer and clearer. The haze that she had felt during the tests was now completely gone and all that was left were her own unhampered thoughts.

She had started to think about things that had never really bothered her before. Where did she come from, was somebody looking for her, what was she doing at the facility in the first place?

Chell didn't like it one bit. It made her angry. Angry at everything, but mostly she felt angry at herself. 

She had already tried letting out the anger by spitting out a handful of new curses Sniper had taught her, but that tactic just didn't seem to work.

„Rough day?", Chell looked up at the approaching Demo and gave him a small nod. She shifted a bit to the side, so that he could sit down next to her. They sat in silence for a few seconds, before he started to speak again, „Ye know, if I‘m not feeling that great this usually helps.“ He handed her his brown liquor bottle, which he carried around everywhere. Chell hesitantly took it and gave him a questioning look.

„Just try it, lass!“

She took a small sip and immediately regretted it, „This is terrible!“ The liquid was way too bitter for her taste and just burned in her throat. Her face twisted as she tried to swallow the rest of it. Demo let out a hearty laugh, „We got to work on that, that‘s not even the strong stuff!“

„How can you drink this all day?“, she really didn‘t understand the appeal of it.

„Oh, you get used to it!“, seeing as she clearly had no intention to drink more he took the bottle, „It will taste better after you down your first few bottles!“

He was grinning and took a gulp as well.

She still had the after taste in her mouth, „I don‘t think I‘ll ever get used to that.“

„Maybe you are just a picky drinker.“, he seemed to think for a moment, „Oh, we could sneak into Spy‘s smoking room and steal some of his fancy wines!“ Chell gave him a sceptical look. 

„And if that’s still not to your taste we could get you one of Medic‘s shandies! That stuff's so sweet, there‘s no way you won‘t like it!“

At the mention of the Medic, she made a face. Chell wasn‘t sure if she really wanted to try anything from the doctor.

At her reaction Demo laughed again, took one more gulp and they fell into a comfortable silence.

„So, did you have a bad day?“, asked Chell.

„What?“, Demo gave her a confused look.

She pointed at the bottle, „You said that it helps you when you feel bad and you already drank … quite a lot.“ 

Demo‘s mouth was still turned up in a smile, but it suddenly seemed to be a lot sadder, „Ah, not really.“

He set down the bottle, „Well the thoughts aren‘t that bad, but I once had a couple of bad weeks and the stuff can be somewhat addicting.“ He tried his best to do a convincing grin, „Okay, drinking actually isn‘t such a great way to feel better.“

Chell continued to observe him for a few seconds, hoping to find something else in his expression, „We could try talking?“

„We could.“, but no one wanted to start first and they both just looked to the ground.

„I think it all started when I accidentally blew up my adoptive parents.“

„What?“, Chell hadn‘t really expected that one of them would just start talking, but Demo seemed to be a lot more talkative than she first thought.

„Well, you see I tried to get the Loch Ness monster! And I got it, but unfortunately also my old mum and dad.“

Chell was nodding slowly, trying her best to follow his tale.

„It was then that my actual parents showed up, because apparently it is tradition in the demolition business to just abandon your kid. A pretty shit tradition, if you ask me! Cost the lives of two very nice people.“, he reached out to pick up his bottle again, but stopped at the last second when he saw the disapproving look on Chell‘s face. He let out a sigh and continued the story, „So, after I blew up my adoptive parents, my real parents showed up. Who then taught me how to be a proper demo man. And believe me I studied everything! I could make you a perfect bomb at the wee age of 9. I just couldn‘t seem to lose my other eye!“ 

He shifted a bit, pointed accusingly with his finger and started talking in a higher voice, „One isn‘t enough, Tavish. Only if you‘re completely blind you‘ll be a proper demolition man!“ Chell was pretty sure that was meant to be his mother.

„Another shit tradition. I mean if you can‘t see, how do you know what you should blow up? It doesn‘t make any sense!“, he let out a scoff and let himself fall back against the wall.

„And I have a job. I mean, look at me! I‘m a good demo man. If I were a bad demo man I wouldn't be here discussing it with you, now would I?“

Chell gave him a reassuring nodd. She could understand that he was frustrated with his parents, but she didn't really get the part about his eyes, or rather eye?

„So that's my sob story, what about yours?“, he turned to Chell and gave her a curious look.

After Demo‘s tale she felt a bit silly talking about her own problems. They were nothing, compared to his issues. Blowing up your parents, adoptive or not, sounded really rough. Just not knowing who yours are seemed a bit whiny in comparison.

Demo noticed her hesitation and gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder, „Don‘t worry lass, I won‘t judge. Just let it out, it really helps.“ He gave her another smile, „I‘m feeling way better already!“

„Alright.“, she took a deep breath to calm herself, „It‘s been days and I still can‘t remember anything about my past life. Nothing about my family, my friends.“ She faltered for a second, „I don‘t even know my favourite colour!“ Demo gave her a sympathetic look, but otherwise didn‘t interfere.

„It‘s just so frustrating. Medic said it might be due to emotional trauma, or due to whatever caused my brain damage and there‘s no way of telling when or if my memories ever come back. And-“ she turned her hand into a fist and started clenching it out of anger, „And is anyone even looking for me? Surely there must be someone out there knowing who I am and I wouldn‘t even recognize them if they were standing right in front of me!“ 

Her voice started cracking at the end of the sentence and she continued in nothing more than a whisper, „But there could also be no one waiting for me. What if no one is missing me and I‘m actually just a horrible person.“ She let out a shaky breath. That was her worst fear, finding out that  _ she _ was right all along and that the insults and degrading comments had been justified. That she was nothing more than a horrible human being, wreaking chaos wherever she went.

„You stop right there, lass!“, Demo had carefully placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a determined look, „We may have only met a couple of days ago, but I can already tell you that you are not a horrible person!“ He looked her straight into the eye, „And believe me, I met some horrible people in my line of work. I know what I‘m talking about!“

He didn‘t let go of Chell until she gave him a small nodd, signaling that she had understood what the other had been saying to her. She wasn‘t used to someone else defending her. It had just been Chell and  _ her  _ voice for so long that she had just gotten accustomed to the constant insults.

„It‘s a bit ironic. You want to remember and I just want to forget. But in a way I guess we still want the same thing ...“, he let out a small chuckle, „We just want to be around people that care about us and accept us.“ 

Chell remained quiet as the other let himself fall back against the wall. However unlike the last couple of times they didn‘t fall into silence, instead he gave her a playful nudge with his elbow, „Well, I guess it‘s a good thing you ended up here.“

Chell gave him a confused look and he flashed her another one of his signature grins, „I can‘t promise you that we find your old friends and family, but trust me the other lads may seem all stoic and uncaring, but they‘re actually all just really soft hearted idiots. You can trust me on that too. They‘re like my second family.“

His grin faltered for a second, „Well technically third. But hey, third time‘s the charm.“

That finally earned him another small smile from Chell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for over 60 kudos! I'm really glad people seem to enjoy this silly little crossover story!


	9. Spy

Today was supposed to be a good day. This morning Engineer had told her that he had nearly finished modifying her Portal Gun and that she should come to his lab once she finished breakfast. Upon hearing the good news she quickly went to the kitchen, took a few of Pyro‘s (only slightly burned) pancakes and started eating them as quickly as possible.

She had despised the tests and felt a burning hatred everytime her thoughts drifted back to the research facility. But that gun, her gun, was different. Sure it was Aperture tech, but unlike the white panels, the turrets and the metallic voices, it was something she could control. She had used the gun to escape and to defeat  _ her.  _ Giving it away to the Engineer had felt wrong, she didn‘t want to lose it out of her sight. But what good was a Portal Gun that couldn‘t shoot any portals?

Thus, she was rather happy, maybe even a bit ecstatic, at the thought of finally being reunited with her gun. There was nothing she‘d rather do, than go into that workshop and pick up her trusted weapon.

So why was she now standing here, 3 feet away from the door, back pressed against the wall of the corridor, doing her best to get her breathing back under control?

After trying to calm down for a few seconds, she slowly looked around the corner. There it was, the door to the Engineer‘s workshop and in front of it … a sentry.

Not even a big one, just a tiny mini-sentry. It was simply standing there, guarding the door and occasionally making a few high pitched beeping sounds.

She knew that her fear was illogical. The sentry wouldn‘t attack her, it knew she was no threat. The Engineer just liked to build them up to keep him company and have them around as a small security measure, if there was a sudden surprise attack.

But she couldn‘t get rid of the voice at the back of her mind, reminding her of test chamber number 16. The turrets had seemed nice at first too, calling out to her in their friendly voices. Her hand absently trailed over the scar on her right thigh. She had listened to them and then paid the price.

But this was different. She wasn‘t in the facility anymore. Her fear didn‘t make any sense, it was simply her own stupidity. Maybe it was the brain damage, that place had made her…..stupid, yes.. just stupid, stupid, stupid-

A distinct swooshing noise pulled Chell out of her stupor.

„They can be quite annoying, can‘t they?“, said the Spy as he carefully leaned around the corner. „Always make you feel like you are being watched and I rather like being the watcher, instead of the other way around.“

He looked back at her, but Chell didn‘t know how to answer that. She was too startled by his sudden appearance. How long had he been here? Did he notice her having a breakdown? Her brain was still in too much disarray and all she could do was simply blink a few times in response.

„Lucky for us, I have just the right gadget for the occasion.“, he pulled out a small generator from the inside of his coat jacket. Then he beckoned her to be quiet and disappeared again. 

Chell waited a few seconds and then slowly inched towards the corner of the corridor.

She held her breath as she watched the sentry. Nothing was out of the ordinary, until blue sparks started to appear and the small mini-gun started powering down.

„Et voilà! Problem solved.“

She finally walked around the corner and carefully stepped closer. The sentry‘s muzzle was pointed to the ground and besides the occasional electric twitch it didn‘t move at all.

„I hate these things.“, Spy was standing next to her, „Nothing secretive about them, just out in the open. At least they are easy to dispose of, if you know how to do it.“

Before she could respond they were interrupted by a call from inside the workshop.

„Chell is that you?“, the Engineer must have heard them and the sound of footsteps indicated that he was coming closer. Before he reached the corridor and before Chell could turn around, Spy had already vanished.

„There you are!“, greeted Engineer, „What are you doi- goddamnit!“ He knelt down next to the sentry and pulled out a wrench from his tool belt, „I told Spy to stop doing that!“ He stopped for a second to look up at Chell, „You can already go in, I‘ll just fix this up real quick.“

Before she entered the workshop she whispered a small „Thank you.“

„De rien.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is kinda short. I just didn‘t know what to do with Spy. I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless!  
> I may have already started writing a sequel to this story …  
> But before I‘ll upload that we still have two more mercs to go!


	10. Heavy

The upgraded Portal Gun was perfect. Chell didn‘t know how the Engineer did it, but the gun was now able to shoot portals at surfaces that weren‘t possible before. Solid rock and metal facades could now be used to place a gateway and she couldn‘t wait to properly try it out again.

The Engineer opened up the white casing in order to modify the gun and he had added a bit of his own teleporter tech on the top of the device. The additional cables and screws didn‘t really fit into its former sleek design, but she actually really liked the new look of it.

Aside from the new screws and cables, the Engineer had left a few other marks on the device, namely a few scratches and a lot of grease stains. When he presented her the weapon he had apologized and offered to clean it himself, but Chell refused. She had to ask for help to modify her weapon, she could at least clean it herself.

So, the Engineer had sent her to look for Heavy, because apparently the big Russian was responsible for their stock of cleaning supplies.

She found Heavy in one of the nearby stockrooms. At first Chell had been a bit intimidated by the man. He had always just towered over her and they never really talked until now. But seeing him delicately holding his own gun and furbishing it with the utmost care, he didn‘t seem that scary at all.

He was much too occupied with his minigun and didn‘t seem to notice her. She awkwardly stood in the door for a few seconds, until she decided to announce herself, „Hello. I need some cleaning supplies for my gun...“. That got his attention and he finally looked up at her. After studying her and giving her a nod, his eyes went to the device in her arms. He got up and walked over. Chell offered him her gun and he held it up into the light to get a better look at it, „Oh … Engineer did messy job. Will take some time, but should be no problem.“.

He led her over to a storage rack, full to the brim with different kinds of sprays, pastes and wipes. „You should use this … and this …“, he picked out a few bottles and gave them to her, „This one is better for metal, but no good for plastic. So use this other one for white parts, da?“.

She was about to leave the room again when Heavy said „Miss Chell can stay, if she wants. No need to make mess in another room.“. She stopped in her tracks and looked back to Heavy’s workbench. No one had called her Miss before, at least not that she could remember. It sounded a little strange, but somehow also a bit flattering. So, she gave Heavy a small smile and set down her supplies next to his, earning her a bigger smile from him in return.

Staying with Heavy turned out to be the right option, he gave her a lot of tips and tricks, making it easy to clean even the smallest parts. After a couple of hours she was finally done and her Portal Gun appeared to be as good as new.

The new parts didn‘t look that out of place anymore and the new look was another reassurance that she had truly escaped that place. Still, there was one part about her gun that was bothering her. The tiny black letters were still as prominent as ever on the white casing. She had tried scrubbing them away, but to no avail. No matter how much she wanted to forget about the place it kept coming back to haunt her in one form or the other.

She didn‘t even notice that she had absently started scratching at the Aperture logo with the nail of her thumb.

„Something wrong?“, asked Heavy, who had seen her stare at the same spot for the last couple of minutes.

„Oh... no, no everything is fine.“, Chell didn‘t really want to discuss it, she didn‘t like to talk about the facility. So, she forced herself to smile.

But Heavy was looking right through her, „Miss Chell is bad liar. Heavy has three sisters back home, can tell something is wrong!“. He broke their eye contact and looked back at the gun, „Is logo bothering you?“.

Chell let out a sigh, „Yes … it‘s just … it‘s not theirs anymore … I mean I‘m not-“. She was struggling with the words again and her thoughts drifted back to that place. She felt a rush of panic, but before her mind could be completely consumed by fear, a comforting hand settled on her shoulder. 

„It is alright. We can cover it.“, Heavy was already standing up and made his way over to another shelf, „What colour does Miss Chell like?“.

The facility had been a cold, monochrome wasteland, the only things illuminating it had been her blue and orange portals. But now that she was here on the surface there were colours everywhere! From the blue sky, to the orange fields, Pauling’s purple scooter, Engineer‘s yellow helmet, Medic‘s green books and Scout’s vividly coloured questionable soft drinks.

However there was one colour in particular that seemed to be everywhere, to her it had started to mean warmth, friends and happiness. She had never thought about the subject of having a favourite colour, but she supposed that she had one now.

„Do you have any red?“


	11. Scout

"So, have ya picked a name yet?"

"I already have a name."

"Not a name-name, I'm talking about your class name! Or I guess a simple code name would be fine too."

Chell had been spending a nice quiet afternoon alone on the couch of the common area, until Scout showed up. He was now sitting across from her on the other side and absently tossed one of his baseballs into the air.

"You know that my real name ain't Scout, right? Like, that would have been a pretty wild coincidence if my Ma had named me that and I ended up being a scout! Or did you seriously believe we all just had these crazy names? Who would name their kid Demoman! Maybe Medic should check out that weird brain of yours again."

She half heartedly kicked his chin „I may have minor brain damage, but I‘m not stupid.“

„Yeah, same thing. Anyways, I‘ve been thinking-“, Chell laughed at that. 

„Hey! This is serious! As I‘ve been saying: you“, he threw his ball and she catched it with ease „need a name.“

Instead of replying she just tossed the ball back, giving him an unimpressed look. Scout tended to be a bit annoying. He often talked a mile a minute, so fast that Chell had trouble keeping up. As she was saying, she wasn‘t stupid, sometimes her brain just needed some time processing auditory input. And Scout rarely gave her any time at all, causing her to frequently develop a mild headache.

„I mean your fancy gun is working again and right now you just kinda live here rent free, without doing anything.“, he once again flung the ball, „Might as well be useful and help us fight some bloodthirsty robots in return.“

She hated to admit, but he had a point. She‘d been here for 2 weeks now, just waiting for Pauling to return and work out what to do next. But fighting robots, her hand absently turned the ball around, she didn‘t know if she could do that.

„What about … oh, test subject! That was on your orange jumpsui-“, she didn‘t let him finish and instead threw the ball back with way more force, clearly aiming for his face. 

„I am not a test subject.“, she said each word with such disdain and anger, that she earned an apologetic smile from Scout. „Okay, fair point. I suppose Heavy wouldn’t appreciate it if we just called him Medic’s experiment, too. We‘re just going to cross that one off the list! So, any other ideas? How about …. crazy portal lady!“

„I‘m not crazy.“

„Okay, then Physicist?“

„No.“

„Pathfinder?“

„No.“

„Hopper!“

„…“

„Fine, you got any better ideas, seafood?“

„Seafood?“

„Get it? Cause your name is Chell!“ She didn‘t get it and at this point she could already feel the aforementioned headache returning. After that they fell back into silence, the only thing occasionally breaking it was the sound of Scout catching his ball.

She didn‘t need a different name. Pauling would be back soon enough and then she had to leave the base anyways, so why bother?

Unless…. she turned back to Scout, observing his face. He was still occupied with his baseball, looking at the ceiling with a dull expression.

Why should Scout bother? He had told her she should help them out in exchange for them helping her. Fair enough, but that would only be a short time thing. Why bother with a name! She wasn‘t a member of the team, unless … 

Unless he‘d want her to stay.

She hadn‘t even thought about that option yet, didn‘t even consider it as a possibility. Chell had certainly grown quite fond of Scout and the other mercs and if she were completely honest staying here didn‘t sound that bad.

„Porter.“

„What?“, asked Scout.

„What about Porter?“, suggested Chell again, trying her best to look indifferent.

Scout gave her a toothy grin and tossed the ball back to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finding a fitting name for Chell was/is hard. Idk if I will stick with it, might change it up if I find a better one.  
> But this is it!   
> Unless...


	12. Epilogue

_Meanwhile ..._

Another scientist entered the dimly lit room and nervously walked over to where his boss and a couple of his colleagues were having a heated discussion.

As they saw him approach they stopped and focused their attention on the newcomer.

„Mr Gray Mann, sir?“

„Yes, what is it? Can‘t you see that we’re busy?“, the short man angrily looked up at him. The scientist couldn‘t help himself and only managed to stutter his next few words, „We uhm … we managed to- I mean we f-found some more functioning robots.“

At the mention of the discovery Gray Mann‘s eyes lit up, „More working AI?“

The scientist gave him a short nodd, „They only talk, b-because they are just spheres… But they are definitely i-intelligent and can communicate.“

„Great, finally some progress!“, Gray Mann pointed back to the door where he had come from, „Take as many as you can and bring them back to the surface with us.“

Then Gray Mann turned back to the other scientists, „See it‘s not that hard. Just disconnect the damn thing and pack it up.“

„But sir, that machine is one of a kind and you told us yourself it was responsible for taking out most of the facility staff!“

„Yes, it killed hundreds of people!“, the short man was shouting again, „And that is exactly what I want! I hired all of you to build me killer robots to take out nine, NINE, idiotic mercenaries. Do you know how much money I wasted, because of you?!“

The remaining scientists all fell silent.

„That thing did what your bots could never do and is way more efficient! If you can‘t build me robots as good as that, then my last option is to just steal a damn good robot and hope that you idiots at least manage to program it to do what I say!“

He straightened his tie and took a deep breath, „You are lucky someone blew that thing up, I doubt you would have managed to get down here otherwise.“

Nervous glances were exchanged among his workers, but no one seemed to be brave enough to argue.

„Now get to work! I want that thing up and running as soon as possible.“, and with that he walked out of the room, leaving the scientists alone as they quietly started to disconnect the remaining parts of Aperture's Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well … this is it!  
> The first thing I wrote in like 5 years.  
> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> I have already started writing the sequel, but it will take some time before I‘ll be posting it. The pressure of starting to upload something unfinished is just too much!


End file.
